Pipipipipipi

[inthejunk]

Hanamura Yosuke. I can't answer right now, but if you leave a message I'll be sure to get back to you!

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[inthejunk]

[It took a lot to hold back from picking her up in a grateful hug. Nilll was funny about stuff like that, he knew she was, but it never stopped him from wanting to. After the other night, though, he's a lot more aware of how intimidating people who can physically overpower you are. It's never even crossed his mind unless some guy had a fist raised over him, but now he understands. Sometimes it applies to friends too, however much you might wish it didn't. For Nill's sake, he's all smiles.]

Hey! I guess you're not busy. It's a lucky thing, huh?

[reassures]

[He gets points for catching that, and Nill can't decide if the thought makes her want to smile more, or stop smiling at all. That she was so obvious that even Yosuke could pick up on it... that was a little concerning. She didn't want to seem so damaged.

But she can't linger on the thought, because there's a strange flash there, something she sees and hears and doesn't understand. Yosuke, yanking his wrists away, and Shika looking so lost, so out of it, and--

What had happened?

She's lost in the memory for a moment while she tries to understand, just staring ahead of herself, as if lost in a daydream momentarily. Nill snaps out of it quickly enough though, and smiles again, though it isn't as bright. She nods, lucky thing indeed, and then pulls her NV out.]

Do you want to come in?

[Maybe, with that image... it would be bad to go somewhere public.]

[inthejunk]

[Yosuke, unaware that the restlessness and miserable squirming in his insides is public knowledge between them, enters easily.]

How are you holding up? If you get lonely, you can always call me, alright?

[reassures]

[Another small smile, and a thumbs up. She closes the door behind Yosuke when he enters, and well-- her room is a bit on the plain side on one hand, and odd on the other. there's nothing really on the walls, but the windowsill and a table beside it is crowded with plants. Some just green leafy things, while the others are actual flowers. There's a heat lamp beside them, although it isn't really turned on. Under the window then is essentially a pile of pillows and blankets, shaped into something that almost resembles a bed. There's a desk as well (and chair), with a few piles of random books, a mirror with a dozen different hair ribbons hanging on the one side of it, a dresser and wardrobe combination, a radio in the corner...

The room smells of flowers, but also smells like smoke. Though it's fainter than usual, because Shika hasn't been there in a long while.]

I know. [She isn't trying to really look at what's going on in his head, though. She just... can't really help it.]

...what about you?

[inthejunk]

Me? I'm good. Busy with work and stuff, you know? I thought about school for a while-[And the memories that go with that are violent, graphic. Painful illness, and inexplicably...fireworks. The thrill of being out after dark. The pang of sending smoke signals and not knowing whether there's anyone out there to receive them...] -but I missed the exams and I don't know if high school is worth my time here. It seems like a joke, right?

[reassures]

[It's quite possible that Yosuke's head has never been more fascinating to Nill. He's never been stoic in the way that Shika tries to be, wants to be, but he's so... so much more emotional than she remembers.

Was this what he was like, she wonders, when they were still kids? She was fifteen and he was sixteen, and she couldn't hear his thoughts back then but when the shadow came after her she'd been so devastated--

Oh, she thinks, and instantly hates herself for it. That's why she liked this Yosuke so much.

He reminded her of what her Yosuke had been like before the city destroyed him - destroyed all of them.

She was so sad when the shadow attacked her because she thought Yosuke was her best friend.

Her fingers twist in her skirt for a moment, and she forces the thought away, because she's sure if she doesn't she'll want to cry.

Then she smiles, and pads further into the room (she didn't wear shoes in there, since the floor was rarely cold, moving to sit back down on the large nest of pillows. Then she smiles up at Yosuke, maybe even sort of invitingly. He could sit too, if he wanted.]

I liked school when I went.

...After awhile it seemed pointless here to me too, though.

[inthejunk]

I'm no good at it anyway.

[But he's watching her fingers twist for a second, sure he's somehow done something wrong. Nervously he follows her in and kicks off his shoes.]

Some people-[A wave a emotions and memories, like a slap in the face. Ugly rumors and dead crushes and isolation and misery and desperation and smile so they think you're cool smile so it comes off like a joke smile just smile and fade and it's fine- are good at it I guess! I've just always been better at stocking shelves and counting change back.

[reassures]

[Nill leans forward a little, resting her hands on her knees (NV clutched in one of them), and for a moment that slightly far-away look appears on her face again. Yosuke's head was a little overwhelming, in a way she wasn't sure what to do with. It takes her a moment longer than it should to type up something.]

I liked it, but I wasn't good at it. I liked learning. I'd never gotten to learn before.

The girls in my class were good at it. But they didn't like me.

[inthejunk]

[That stings in a way too familiar way-but worse, it infuriates him. How dare anyone not like Nill?!]

Oh...um. Kids are mean sometimes, huh? Don't worry, that's just part of growing up. That's what everyone says.

[reassures]

[That gives her pause, before Nill smiles. And it looks like she giggles, too, but obviously she can't make any sound.]

It's okay. I didn't mind it. At the start of the day, I got to walk to school with people I cared about, and I got to walk home with them.

That was all I wanted.

[inthejunk]

Sounds nice.

>small>[He grins at her again, but it wavers just slightly. There's a slew of sloppy emotions behind that sentiment, from Souji and his silent countenance to and the wrist bruising but also the better days. Idly discussing setting fireworks off from a rooftop, right down to a squirming burst of butterflies and the thought of a girl. A blonde, petite, western, beautiful smile.]

If you decide to go back some day maybe I will, too. But I don't think it's worth it to go alone.

[reassures]

It was. [Even though she was picked on and things began to get worse and worse... she was never as happy as she was back then again.

They're right about the idea that "ignorance is bliss", and Nill would gladly keep anyone else in that ignorance if she can.]

I think I'm too old for that now, Yosuke. [She smiles.] You know I'm 18, right?

[inthejunk]

Oh, yeah...
[Clearly, it's easy to forget. He scratches his head a little and drops onto the floor a few feet away from her, wincing a little as he bangs the same knee he hit off the table the other night at Shika's place.]
I was thinking about just doing that, too. It's easier, I bet!

[reassures]

[His knee gets spared a glance, and it covers up her look at the memory. Just what happened that she didn't know about...?]

Is it?

[But she passes him a pillow, in case he wants to sit on it, or lean against it, or whatever.]

[inthejunk]

Sure. If you say you're 18 when people ask how old you are the questions stop there, right? It's not like they're going to ask for a birth certificate.

[He takes the pillow, but instead of sitting on it he hugs it to his tense stomach. It's probably a girly thing to do, but Yosuke seems blissfully unaware of the fact.]

Did you say you wanted to get some tea?

[reassures]

[Oh, that's what he meant. She'd protest, but... well, Shika had done that when they got here, basically. And she was pretty sure you could teach yourself anything you'd learn in highschool... But she wasn't sure Yosuke would actually do that.

That works, too. She smiles, and leans back again.]

I don't mind staying here-- there's lots of tea and coffee in the kitchen.

[inthejunk]

Okay. What's up? I feel like all I've done lately is work. I spent my last day off sleeping it off, you know? Maybe we should go see a movie one day or something. What do you say?

[reassures]

--I haven't seen a movie in a long time. [Not one in a theater, anyway. Seeing movies in theaters in her world was a foreign concept, and in NG... it had been a very long time.]

It could be fun.

[inthejunk]

Great!

...So, um. You've never asked me around for no reason before. Are you alright?

[reassures]

[She hesitates a moment, before smiling a little sheepishly - though she doesn't exactly look at Yosuke when she does.]

It's quiet here.

[Which isn't exactly true. Nothing was ever quiet for her, not really, but--

Shika wasn't here anymore. She didn't know how to talk to Naruto right now. And god, Badou... she didn't even know what to say to him, how to start, if she ever could. She wasn't really his Nill. Just some cheap, lonely, busted imitation-- and she hopes the real Nill has a better name.

But who else did she have to go to, except the person that had made a point of spending time with her when Shika was gone?]

[inthejunk]

[A hint of a smile twitches at Yosuke's lips, even though he tries to hide it. Eventually the smile wins anyway, and he shakes his head.]

I guess you called the right guy, then.

[reassures]

[That makes her smile as well, and she nods her head a few times, almost but not quite enthusiastically.]

Of course I did.

[inthejunk]

Hmm...what do you want to talk about? To tell you the truth I don't have much news. Well...I'm doing better at work! I only spilled soup on one person this week.

[He glances off guiltily to the side.]

[reassures]

That's good.

[But...]

How have you been?

[inthejunk]

I just told you.

[Slightly nervous laughter, and a swift, violent shove of an attempt to re-bury all the incidents from the week out of his thoughts. No, Nill, he doesn't know you can pick up what he broadcasts, he just doesn't want them in his head any more than he wants them to accidentally leak out at you.]

Maybe we can go have that tea and talk about the weather like old people. It's stopped snowing, isn't t hat nice?