Pipipipipipi

[inthejunk]

Hanamura Yosuke. I can't answer right now, but if you leave a message I'll be sure to get back to you!

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[inthejunk]

[Yosuke paces nervously. The kitchen here brings back memories of a different bad night. He closes his eyes and manages to stop himself from shuddering, but his heart kicks up madly at the image that greets him behind his eyelids. HImself, but not. That painful and terrifying moment that his own blade pierced his shoulder, the frantic call that was meant to be to Souji...]

[And then, Shika. Grabbing him like some kind of monster and running up a building with him...taking him home and feeding him, patching up his palms where the callouses had come off...crying, when Yosuke introduced himself.]

[It takes him a second to shake it all off, and he grabs the wall a little dizzily from the perceived suddenness of his leap between the two times. But he smiles pleasantly at Nill, and clears his throat.]

You'll make someone a really happy man one day, Nill-san. You even keep the right kind of tea on hand.

[reassures]

[Nill is, in part, used to the suddenness with which memories can overtake her at times. Despite her mind being elsewhere, she calmly sets her palms against the counter, makes sure she's looking in the general direction of something so she doesn't look completely out of it. She's prepared for these things, after living like this for as long as she has now. If Yosuke can't shake it off, then it's nearly impossible for Nill to.

She is not, however, prepared for the images that meet her. The Shadow of her senpai; too young, she thinks, but the thought doesn't comfort her, because it's like reliving one of the worst days of her life. Reliving a nightmare. She feels the pain, but it's her shoulder this time, not her wing (they still snap back abruptly against her back), and then-- Shika. That wasn't right. Shika hadn't been the one to save her, that had been-- who?

This isn't her memory, isn't her head. She draws in a shaky breath, and then Shika is talking and she can hear the voice she's watching things from speak, introduce himself, as if they don't know Shika at all... and Shika cries.

When Nill collects herself again, she realizes her arms are wrapped around her ribs, and there are tears on her face, too. Memories are too sudden, too fast, and a lot of the time she'd helpless not to get caught up in them.

She hastily wipes at her eyes, and whatever Yosuke said seems to go right over her head.]

[inthejunk]

[The smile freezes on Yosuke's face for a second-the surest way to tell they're fake is when they stick and they shouldn't-and then drops off suddenly like falling over a steep and unexpected cliff.]

[Wait, what did he say? Shit. He made her cry and he can't even remember what the hell he just said to her...oh. Oh. Make some man happy...oh, man. Oh, man. Did that mean something? It would explain a few things.]

[For a moment he's still and sick with rage that he can't even direct at anything. His stomach churns with renewed vigor, and something in his ribs expands white and hot and he has to swallow hard and shake it off before he kicks the wall or something and startles her. She doesn't need that right now. She needs him to be gentle, and keep his stupid comments to himself.]

Hey...hey, don't-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please don't cry.

[He starts to reach forward with the tip of his sleeve, to dry her eyes. But he realizes just in time what a stupid mistake that would be, and snatches his hand back as if he's nearly burned it, taking a step away at the same time.]

W-why don't you sit down, okay? I can make the-[his stomach lurches again, silently objecting to the idea of swallowing anything, and he puts a palm to it to settle it]-tea. I'm getting pretty good at it, even. I do it at work all the time!

[Please don't be sad...]

[reassures]

[It doesn't help that she can hear everything going through his head right now; that he wants to reach out, to help, to do something, but he's afraid to because it's so obvious to everyone that looks at her that she's untouchable. And normally she likes it that way, prefers it even, but--

For one terrible moment she's young again, typing frantically, alone in some room while-- someone, someone that did horrible things to her and still haunts her nightmares, even though they no longer have a face or a name-- posts on the network. And she begs and pleads and they just make the message bigger and everyone sees it, everyone she's ever cared about. They all know. Everyone knows about her.

Her face contorts, and Nill brings a hand up to muffle a sob that wouldn't even make that much noise anyway, because she can't speak. She can't yell, can't shout, can't argue, nothing without it being done deliberately. She can't even scream, and she certainly can't 'talk' to Yosuke.

All Nill can do is move; and so she does. She shakes her head almost frantically, and hugs Yosuke (regardless of the hand against his stomach), wings still trembling against her back.

...Nill hates herself all the more, because she's almost certain she wouldn't have hugged her senpai like this before he left.]

[inthejunk]

[Yosuke should be caught off guard by that hug. He should be baffled and dumbfounded. In some way he is, but it's a distant, unimportant way. Mostly he's just relieved. It's the first time someone's hugged him since he got there, and it feels so good that a lump rises up in his throat too, though he swallows it back down with renewed determination.]

[Without another word, he wraps his free arm around Nill, both extremely pleased to finally have an excuse to brush her wings and mindful of them. The frantic tides of acid stop crashing against the walls of his stomach for the first time in days. The breath he didn't even know he'd been holding that entire time leaks out in a soft sigh, and he almost sags with the loss of tension.]

It's okay.

[He rumbles at her, low and deep in his throat, still buried under that lump he swallowed. It's not okay, not really, but suddenly he feels like there's a ray of sunlight in it somewhere. Nill isn't afraid to touch him. And it makes his heart kick again, this time swollen heavy with love and hope.]

It's gonna be alright.

[reassures]

[Nill virtually clings to him, although she tells herself that she shouldn't. That she's terrible and selfish, because this isn't the Yosuke that she wants, and it probably makes him feel terrible just to know that, because surely he has to know it, right?

But Nill isn't certain that this really isn't the Yosuke she wants anymore. He's kind and awkward and everything she missed about her senpai, but so much more.

What was she supposed to think - what would Shika think?

Nill liked this boy in front of her more than she did the person that gave her everything.

She doesn't stop clinging though, and even nods - not at the first statement, but the second, because no... it wasn't okay. But it would be eventually.]

[inthejunk]

[Yosuke is at a loss for what else to do. He's never even tried to comfort anyone before. Generally, when people are upset, it's more of a curiosity to him than anything. Or else it's his mother, and all he can do is keep apologizing or try to distract her.]

[Instinctively, that's what his mind races to do now. Distract Nill. But he's still not even sure that he shouldn't be apologizing. He just keeps getting lost in the sweet warm tickle of her feathers on his forearm, and her curls along his collarbone, and her delicate arms clinging tightly. Maybe...maybe she needs it as much as he does, anyway. Maybe she needs it even more. He ends up just gently squeezing her back.]

I'll protect you from now on, alright? You don't have to worry.

[reassures]

[Nill is content, for the moment, to just cling to Yosuke, because it feels like she hasn't in such a long time - even though she did just about the same thing when Shika came back, and now she barely saw him... Was Yosuke already that important?

The thought was a little frightening. Yet she still doesn't start to pull away until Yosuke mentions protecting her. Barely a moment later, Nill begins to pull away, though not before looking up at him and smiling.

No... Yosuke had no idea, could never understand, how much she was trying to protect him. If Nill could help it, she'd make sure he never protected her at all. Was never in danger. He deserved so much better than the life she had.]

[inthejunk]

[He doesn't really get what just happened, but the smile is reassuring. Somehow, things are okay. This time, he does brush her face off with his sleeve. It's clean- Gilbert is really good at looking after them all.]

Better?

[reassures]

[Nill takes a deep, calming sort of breath, and nods, letting him wipe at her tears; the movement is obvious and doesn't bother her, and it seems to make him feel better. She nods, yes, better, but then she pauses to pull out her NV.]

Just Nill.

[You called her Nill-san again. She told you Nill was fine, didn't she?]

[inthejunk]

[That gets a small smile in return. He nods.]

Sorry, it's-it's hard to break habits, right?

[Nill. Nill, Nill, Nill. Just Nill. What would she do if he started adding the 'just' instead? Hmmm...]

[reassures]

[She would laugh at him - the thought nearly makes her giggle, but she's good at restraining herself from doing so.]

It's okay.

[inthejunk]

[He gives the table a look-and there's a brief flash of leaping up from it in terror for some reason-but then drops lazily into one of the chairs. His whole body is at least twenty times more relaxed now, and he props his chin on a palm casually.]

What do you think...yellow in here?

[reassures]

[...That was a strange flash. But it's much too fast for her to make any real sense of, so she sets about filling the kettle and setting it on the stove. They'd might as well still have tea, since they were in the kitchen.]

Yellow would be pretty.

[inthejunk]

Yeah...and maybe blue in the stairs. Blue like the sky in spring, you know?

[He makes a face at that, still a bit bitter of being robbed of the spring that had just started at home when he was pulled here.]

Please tell me the sky here is going to be blue in spring.

[reassures]

[She notably laughs at that - it shows in her expression and the way her wings shake, as well as her shoulder, and she leans back against the counter.]

Of course!

I really love the sky.

[inthejunk]

...Can you fly?

[It's a dumb question. He knows it is as soon as it leaves his mouth. Even though he's fallen asleep more than once during a physics lecture, even he can see that wings that size are just there to...what? Nothing, right? Some sort of unusual decoration. Probably not a very nice story, considering how much Just Nill hadn't wanted to talk about them when they met.]

[Only that's wrong too, isn't it? She certainly didn't meet him that day, even though she did. It makes that spot between his eyes start to ache again, ad he rubs it absently. No, there's definitely no way that wings like that can fly.]

Never mind, that's a stupid question, right? You must like the sky for the same reasons I do, right?

[And these images are nicer. A thousand clear days spent on hills and roof tops and beaches, watching the clouds roll past or the sun go down or the stars come out...]

Yeah. Definitely blue in the stairs.

1/3

[reassures]

[Nill seems more than a little surprised at the question - but she laughs, and her wings flutter, and she shakes her head.

It isn't that the question is actually funny - it's just that in three years of meeting people from so many different worlds, she'd never been asked that.]

[reassures]

[She wipes at her eye, and pulls out her NV, typing away as always.]

No-- but it feels like I can, sometimes. When the wind catches my wings, it feels really nice.

But I'm much too big to fly.

[reassures]

[She glances out the window then, the one behind the sink, and her smile softens a little. She fiddles with the NV for a moment before showing the next message. The images are lovely, and she'd linger in those memories all day if she could.]

I love watching clouds with Shika, or seeing the sun rise and set. It's all really beautiful.

[She pauses, and adds,] Before I got here, I'd never seen the sky.

[inthejunk]

[That's got to be the saddest thing he's ever heard. Yosuke frowns. No matter how lousy his days might be, he's always had the sun to tip his face up to. Or at least a cold, frustrating rain shower to curse at from the inside of an unfortunately placed dust bin.]

How is that possible?

[reassures]

There were levels.

[And after she shows him that message, she holds one hand parallel to the table top, and places her other hand parallel over that. Levels, see?]

Entire cities... maybe the whole world was like that.

[She holds one hand a little higher than the others had been.]

Only one level saw the sky.

[And then, she places a hand flat against the table.]

I always lived on the bottom.

[inthejunk]

Levels?

[He shakes his head, not really comprehending what she's trying to tell him.]

Like, an underground city?

[reassures]

It was a little like that.

[That's sort of how it worked in her world, at least. NG though... who even knows.]

[inthejunk]

...Damn.

When it gets warmer, I'll show you something cool, okay?