inthejunk | Pipipipipipi

They did it because there was nothing else.

[At least, she suspected that was the case. There was no use in not doing it, because then they'd have nothing. But Yosuke was still a kid, he could afford to cut himself some slack if he'd just let himself.

Hah. If only Yosuke knew. Her breakdowns, though few and far between, are so much quieter than this. People just don't notice when it happens.

But there's no way she's telling him that.

Nill narrows her eyes at the tenant when he frowns, but as Yosuke moves to stand Nill does as well, though she keeps her hands slightly extended - ready to help if need be. Yosuke, you really need to stop fighting monsters. You're going to get yourself killed.]

[Right. There's nothing else. So losing your cool about it is not only embarrassing, it's also completely pointless. Yosuke rubs his face and holds the door for Nill, but it isn't the door back into the building. It's the one that opens up to the next floor up.]

Let's just pretend this didn't happen, alright? And I'll try not to think about-

[Another rush of horrible things-crap! He reels a little himself at the rush of painful and miserable memories that flood in . But it's like holding a bucket under a waterfall. He really has been keeping a lot from her. By the time it's in there it's already been pulled out and turned over, so hopefully all Nill caught from those was the dizzying rush of bitter disappointment and sheer terror and surprisingly, adrenaline as it empties back out. He doesn't always hate fights, it seems, he gets a little rush from them, too.]

-like that.

[Sigh.]

[Nill sort of glances at the door, because she knows it isn't the right one and she's not sure if Yosuke knows that.

She doesn't ask though, because while she doesn't catch images there are still strange flashes - nothing that she can interpret but still streak across her vision like bolts of lightning. She grabs the railing, because Yosuke hides far too much and it is literally dizzying when things like that finally just pop up.

That adrenaline is worrying, though she doesn't quite know what it means. Those were a lot of different feelings to have at once.]

--It's okay.

[She glances at the railing, pulls her hand away.]

I'm used to seeing a lot of different things.

That must suck.

[He's still holding the door, and still not quite able to meet her eyes. But he's not running away, at least? And he's only panicking a bit. His pulse is racing, but on the outside, he's mostly keeping his cool.]

[She cracks a small smile at that. It's like she said, really.] I'm used to it. [So, yeah, it does kind of suck, but it's a lot easier now than it was, so she's grateful for that much.

Not running away is an excellent sign though, and since he's handling things fairly well Nill steps through the door anyway, even though she's not certain it's the right one.]

I don't need to talk like this if you don't want me to.

[Yosuke follows and leans against the wall when they climb to the next rise, rubbing his face again, even though the tears are mostly gone already. One drips silently from the tip of his nose, and he brushes it away like a bug.]

What makes you say that? ...Think that.

[He frowns, and glances up at her quickly, then back down again. He shakes his hair back into his face. It definitely needs cut, but he'll have to worry about that later.]

...Ask that?

[Nill waits patiently of course, though she does kind of peer at him to make sure he's really okay.]

I don't want to bother you.

[He'd reacted so poorly to her telling him about it, she was sure talking like this had to be at least a little bit uncomfortable for him.]

Oh...no, it isn't that.

[He continues rubbing his face.]

My head hurts, but that isn't you, you know?

Alright.

[She pauses a little, and then smiles again.]

Don't tell anyone, alright? Not many people know about it.

Are you kidding? I don't even tell people I can-

[Wait, does she know that? She does now, he supposes, as a memory of calling Jiraiya leaps to the front of his consciousness helpfully.]

[He rolls his eyes at himself, and shrugs sheepishly. This is definitely going to take some getting used to.]

I won't tell.

[Daww. That makes her giggle a little at. She doesn't seem surprised at all by the image.]

It's okay-- I know.

Thank you.

I would have kept your secret anyway. Don't worry.

[He sighs, and blows his hair out of his face with a frustrated puff of air.]

Uh, but I think I need some time to figure this out.

[He starts to hold his hand out for his keys, this time, but before he can another memory slides into the silence and fills it with the sound of Yosuke singing in the shower that morning.]

[It isn't too explicit, just a flash of thin, wet thigh and arm as he soaps up. Not like he was checking himself out, at least. But humiliating enough all the same for him to gasp out loud and grab his head, ducking his face and blushing furiously.]

[Okay, yeah. That was definitely something Nill never needed to see again. He groaned, and this time held his palm out without looking up at her. Or even letting go of his head.]

Ugh, sorry... See what I mean? I need to-sorry, but you have to go. We can talk later, alright?

I know you would have. [She mostly just wanted to make sure he knew it was a secret. Precautions and all that.

Though at this new flash, Nill goes rather red in the face herself. That was-- uh, wow. That was sort of new. It wasn't something she usually saw, that was for sure.

She fumbles with the keys for a moment before setting them in his hand.]

Alright.

[Wow, she actually can't think of anything else to say to that.]

[He gives her a halfhearted wave, with the hand the keys are in. The other one is determined to hold all his thoughts inside, apparently.]

[The sound of the keys jangling is the only noise, however. He doesn't have anything to say, either. He needs to focus on not thinking embarrassing things at you Nill, sorry about that.]

[...He'll work on it. Really.]

[Nill smiles slightly, even if he isn't looking at her, and reaches to touch his arm lightly.]

Take care of yourself.

[That said, she pulls her hand away and heads back down the stairs.]

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